18 mos and counting...

[MonicaP]

Thanks Cat & Husband, I appreciate your support. It always helps me to feel better just knowing that there are others out there walking the same path. It's just a huge shame that any of us have to be here.

Had a little email exchange w/ H recently. I initiated it because I needed to check in about some things related to our S4. His responses were all pretty decent and (at least sounded) like he took them seriously. I also asked that since he was scheduled to be w/ S on Mother's Day that he spend the day with S only (i.e., w/out Ow). His response came after that but he said he had already planned on it because he "thought it was the right thing to do". He did mention Ow's name when he said S does well with her, but that S only has one mother and that will never change. At first I was sickened just to see Ow's name, but after processing what he said a little longer I realized that what he said was actually intended to be nice. At the end he thanked me for doing such a good job w/ S and said he hoped we could get past our problems with each other someday.

My reponse was very brief and to the point about S4. I just don't know what else to say. It seems like he's just hoping for me to let him off the hook and give him my blessing to be w/ Ow and I can't do that. I can't be friends with him and pretend that it's ok that he bailed on our M.

Tomorrow I will know if I get a fee waiver for the filing fee. Even if I don't I will still file the paperwork - this week. I can hardly believe this time has come. I know I am taking a big risk forcing H's hand and he will probably reject LS in favor of D, but if that's the case it must be time. I need to keep moving forward in my own life.

In other news... This Sat I'm going out to dinner & dancing w/ a group of friends. I've already lined up a babysitter. I can't wait! It's so rare for me to get out like this.

Well, thanks again for all of your support...