Quoting Abby:I believe in time she and my H will come off the stance of not being in love.
I hope so, my dear...I really do...
I'll tell you what, guys, with each passing day, Jethro learns more and more. I don't particularly like this because it goes against some of the more "happy" assumptions I have in my head.
So, what did I find out last night? That although my W "ended" her R with the OM last Sep/Oct time-frame, she continued to talk to him on the phone until she admitted to having an A (not quite three weeks ago). So great, here I thought she told him she was done a few months ago and that was that. But noooooo... Now, I wasn't happy to find out because I thought it was over in Sep/Oct...and I mean over. This was certainly the impression she gave.
So, naturally, I'm thinking, "Ohhh...so the PA was over a few months ago, but you couldn't totally sever the ties, could you?" I said something like this to my W, but not nearly as sarcastic. She kind of got annoyed with me and said, "What difference does it make? Isn't it enough to know that I'm working on things now?" Well, she has a point, but it was still a deception as far as I'm concerned. Additionally, the day I found out about the A, she told me she wouldn't talk to him anymore, and I believe she hasn't. However, will he call? How does he know where things stand? I mentioned this to her and she said that she's always the one that calls because she's the one that's M.
Didn't think about it until this morning, but I woke up, got ready for work and asked her to come downstairs to call the OM and end it officially. I needed definitive closure, and I wanted him to know that I knew, and close it for him too.
So, she comes downstairs and asks me nervously, "You're not going to want to talk to him are you?" I said, no, but that if I did I could always go to this bar to do that anyway. She made me promise I wouldn't do that if she was going to call. So, I promised. Didn't say anything, but it pisses me off her protecting that jerk.
So, she called. Here's the conversation (I only know her end, as I wasn't listening on the telephone): "Hi. My husband is here with me right now and wants to let you know that he knows, and that I am not to call you anymore, nor you call me." Quiet for a second. "Okay. Bye."
Short and sweet. I know it was hard for her, but too bad. We couldn't really talk about it because the kids came downstairs. Lovely, huh? More than anything I hate how she still has feelings for this homewrecker. I know that in time they will fade, however.
In terms of our conversation last night, I heard one of the most wonderful things from her. "Sometimes I feel like we were meant to be together." Of course, she followed that with the opposite view, but I don't care. It was enough for me to hear the positive for now.
jethro (not anticipating having an R talk last night)
