Trying to piece at last

[stillme]

(((H))) I'm sorry you're so down. I really don't know what to say except that. I'm sorry. I am (of course!) totally out of my element but can only imagine how terribly difficult it is that, even tho your H has said he would "try", it doesn't seem like much actual work is going on from his end.

It's so hard to know what to do; and I can only believe that YOU will know when your "enough" is. Are you a praying girl? I ask b/c it seemed like my emotional sitch (not the actual or physical sitch) improved tremendously when I finally "got it" and turned it over to God. As soon as my head hits the pillow every night, I pray, "I can't do this by myself. I can't control H, and I'm having a hard time controling even my own self - my emotions, my thoughts & my actions - as well. So, I'm turning it over to You. Help me get thru this night, and help me get thru tomorrow. I know you will be there for me. Carry me; I'm so tired. . . .I know you have a much better Life planned for me than I can even imagine. Please help me to remember that." I promise that's when it turned around for me.

On the more practical Holiday issue, I really don't know what to think. You know the man. Do you really believe he's been using you just to not lose out on the holiday that's been paid for? What are your options if this is true; and if it's not? Can you separate the Facts from the emotions?

I'm sorry that you don't seem to be getting much support or advice here in Piecing. I feel for you, hun. I really do. Know that I'm checking in on you still, and I'm praying for your sitch, and for you to find some peace in all of this.

Take care. Take a breath. Nothing needs to be decided tonight, does it? But think about: What is the best FOR YOU now? If you are truly done, that's fine and I will be the first to say Congratulations on the progress YOU have effected in your R (w/H as well as w/your kids) and the improvements YOU have made in yourself and in your life. Great Job! on the hard, hard work you have put in. You are awsome!! and a very strong person to have accomplished so much to date. Even if you decide to stop here, there are many positives that have been made - AND THEY ARE ALL YOUR DOING, H!! Way to GO, H!!! I'm proud of you.

I'll check your thread again tomrrow, 'kay? {{{peace}}}