Letting go and going with the flow

[bravagal]

Speaking of that, might be in Chicago later this month.

WCW:
oh oh, did I miss you? Are you still coming to Chicago??? huh? huh?

Remember the only thing you know is that you never know. He might be really shocked, or it might be stuck in cyber space and he didn't even get it.

Gee, you are smart. Turns out he left me a bon voyage message after I had turned my cell off. Then he called me on Mon. (the day after I got back).
He is all sweet. Invited me to dinner. YUP, he is worried... rightfully so!

I had a realization:
I can deal with lots of compromises:
staying in Chicago, waiting to have kids (or adopting)...

the one deal breaker is that I just can't or don't want to handle "sharing him" anymore with all his female friends, messed up guy freinds etc.. It was a pattern that developed in our marriage already and it is his way of not risking and puttin his energy into a committed relationship. I know that NOW of all times I should be ok with it but I am not.

I loved Japan and have an informal job offer. I think I might go for it. It would be for one year up to 3 years. I have such a desire to create something new and be somewhere where I will not live in the shadow of my Hs world.

Anyway, more on all this in the next few days. I am so pooped from jetlag. I am finishing Dancing WIth the Stars and then it is beddy bye for me.



brava