ST oh yeah - it is very tempting!! I think even the managers are kind of aware of it but aren't doing anything unless/until someone complains. <sigh> Maybe the boyfriend's wife will do it. And ST thanks for your email, sorry I've been delayed replying back! Crazy few weeks, but I will reply soon.

Oldtimer - you make a good point, he can make that choice. There are some things about it that'll be awkward but I need to stop "protecting" H from that... that part of it's not my problem. I also think I need to make it crystal clear that's what I want. I thought I had done that before, but may not have made it clear enough. In hindsight he may think he "won" the discussion about how it shouldn't bother me (I know it's not about "winning" but couldn't think of a better word to use). I like your wording - thanks.

It's funny what you said about the speakerphone. My first reaction was "I'd love to hear that!" followed VERY quickly by "But NO WAY, then I'd have to hear her voice again!" I'd be happy to hear his side of the conversation, though. It's weird how the stronger I get the more I realize just how deeply all this stuff hurt me. I guess I must have brushed a LOT of it off before, or thought I did... seems I buried it, instead.

Journaling about last night - which was WONDERFUL! LOTS of big positives.

I was catching up on chores when H said "We should go to [restaurant]." This restaurant/bar is where we had our first date, which we've celebrated all 12 years we've been together except for this year. The first year H was so proud that he had remembered our first "anniversary." To this day he can tell you that date, but has trouble remembering my birthday and even our wedding anniversary - so this anniversary has always been a pretty big deal for us. We usually go for drinks and appetizers, reminisce a bit, and "re-enact" our first kiss out in the parking lot. (ok call us silly if you must )

Anyway it was on May 3 and somehow this year we both forgot about it. I noticed it last weekend and said "Oh wow, we missed May 3...oops" (in a casual way, didn't want to make it a big deal). H said "Yeah I know, can't believe that, I was even thinking about it when I was at [friend's] house" (the house where he lived while we were separated). Interesting.. then he said "Well we could still go, it's not too late." That was early in the weekend, so I was pleasantly surprised and happy when he brought it up again last night.

I went to get ready, came back and H had poured us each a drink. He handed me mine, then held his glass up for a toast. He held it up with his left hand - he's a "righty" - and said "To us!" That's when I saw his wedding ring, for the first time in a very long time. I didn't say anything at the time but know I got a goofy grin on my face and teared up a little bit. At the restaurant I touched his hand and the ring and said "Looks good on you" (along with goofy grin and a few tears again). H said "Thanks" in a very sweet tone. We had a great time - I was surprised how much H was into the reminiscing as I had thought he probably wouldn't want to bring up the past too much, but he did and it was all positive memories. Yay!!!

I think almost 2 hours passed without feeling like much time at all. We couldn't believe it was getting so late... did our parking lot kiss, cruised around for awhile and then came home. It was soooo nice!! I won't get into too much detail but we had a lot of fun and adventurous ML after we got home, too... ;\) . I joked about "So this is probably what you were HOPING would happen 12 years ago but all ya got was a kiss that night" - we both got a good laugh from that.

All in all just an awesome night - one of the best we've had in a really long time!!

And H is wearing his ring again. YAY!!!

Last edited by NikkiB; 05/15/07 10:12 PM.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7
Bomb 1 10/07/06
Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15
Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07
Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate
2/08 slowly improving
7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!)
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