I feel so sorry for you. I know I talk tuff now but when and if my day comes I know me to will be in shock. Just going thru the motions. Being Pisces I wish I could give ya a hug. You sound like ya need it. Hang in there. My problems don’t seem so bad right now.
Thinking of ya H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know