I grew up in that preverbal family where "good girls didn't do that" and what you should and shouldn't be doing, even after marriage.
No double standard for the boys in our extended family. Same message for girls and boys!
The after marriage was more liberal but not talked about.
Still I got the message that oral sex was off limits except for a try it to say you did, and anal sex was way only for perverts.
My W/BB has been my only sex partner and if it hadn’t been for her, early on in the M, I would have believed some of those old "girls don't like" messages. She changed false myths into a good reality for me, at least for several years.
I am not daring either, but willing to explore and try different things. For BB the basics are not any fun or exciting now. They were at one time. It is strange how things become reversed.
The more he loves me, trusts me and respects me, the LESS he wants to do those "things.. That is sad. Hopefully the C sessions will show your H that he can do things you want and by doing so, he can love you more, and it can come as a gift to you, from him.
I know I want things from my W/BB but I also want to give her things she wants. Giving/taking or accepting/declining gifts if one sided can be depressing.
Maybe working from an angle of giving and taking things from the OP’s POV would help your H see that what he thinks is gross/whatever, is something you value. It’s similar to “one man’s trash is the other woman’s treasure.”
