Might be too late for that. However, I am not too sure.
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I feel like I am being backed into a corner for some reason, like I HAVE to slam her with every legal thing I can........
I know the feeling brother. It is not fun but it is in your best interest to protect yourself and the kids. Example. What if something she through at you in front of the kids hits one of the kids by accident. How would you react because YOU did not take the proper steps to stop it.
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Only thing is that I am getting really heated over this, so I probably won't be at my best....
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU GO INTO THIS WITH A CLEAR HEAD. If you do not you are setting yourself up again for a blow out and that is not what you want out of this. You want to be firm and set your boundries if she does not comply then do what you have to to protect yourself and the kids and that is NOT getting into another fight with her. DO NOT INSTIGATE OR RAISE YOUR VOICE. Just be direct and firm.
If you can not do this you are setting yourself up for something that you do not want to deal with.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
There's always room for another abusive attack from her, it's what she does best now. So she'll probably want to strike at me again, but like 1210 said, I will call the police and file a report - it will be the last time.
As far as her playing me like a fiddle, is that what she is really doing??? Last night, as soon as she went to work, she called me from there and said she was sorry. Well, too much abuse that I have sustained from her over the years. I have not been a good boy scout either, but I am not the same person I was before, I hope everyone here can say that about me.
At this point, I am cold towards her. And it's helping me to see clearer.
Everyone here agrees that I should get her to some help, or end it.
My best friend, who is like a brother to me, and his wife said I should get out of the M.
My mom says the same thing, but she's only looking out for her son's best interest, though I appreciate that she's on my side.
even the nagging co=worker who likes to twist my sitch around and get me fired up, says that I need to grow a backbone and make a choice - I guess he's tired of me talking about my problems...so I have ended communication with him for good.
I guess I need to stop having these emotions, and just tell her we are going to counseling or to the lawyers.
I'm trying to get a cool head here......
Last edited by sol1696; 05/15/0705:13 PM.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Take a step back. Your W's actions, however bad they may be, do NOT require you to act in ways you do not want to. You feel backed into a corner. How much of this feeling is caused by your own thoughts and associations? How much is generated by the dramatic uproar on this thread? You talk about feeling like you need to slam her legally, yet a strong sense of doubt comes across. You don't want to do this. Nothing requires that you do. In fact, you reacting this way - vindictively - will do nothing to help you detach from this situation, which in turn will do nothing to help you keep the best interests of your children and even yourself in mind. Take a step away, find some peace and solitude and think about what you want, for yourself, without the influence of people (with nothing but good intentions) who don't know what's best for you.
You know what you need to do - the answer lies on the inside, not in the advice of anyone on the outside.
Be strong, hang in there. You've got a ton of people rooting for you.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
Sol, Muddle is absolutely right. You need to do what is best for you and your family. None of us can know what that is. We suggest and give opinions but you are the expert on your sitch. No matter which way you go here, we will be behind you!
Take any advice from friends and loved ones with a grain of salt. They say these things because they see you are in great pain. They want to help ease your pain, so they will give advice based on that. Hmmmm...I read that somewhere...
One thing I have always appreciated from my father throughout this whole mess...he always told me, you need to decide what you want to do, and no matter what you decide, I will be behind you 100%. He listens, empathizes, but does not offer any advice as to what I should do.
As everyone has said here, when you do talk to your wife, remain CALM but firm.
If she has another emotional episode of anger and violence, I would only suggest one thing, take the children, leave the house and then call the police if warranted. If you try to make the call with her on the rampage, and waiting for them to show up, it could esclate.
please, dont' make any desicions right now, you are understandably very upset, she is one unstable woman, she thinks she can get away with hitting you, I agree w/calling the police, I'd warn her first though, tell her you'll do it if she lays one finger on you.
I'm so sorry she's acting so crazy.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Be careful, too, if you call the police. My brother is an officer here in California, and he says, the ways the laws are written here (or maybe it's just the rules in his jurisdiction, I'm not sure): if an officer is called to a domestic violence dispute, they MUST remove the person MOST CAPABLE of inflicting harm.
99% of the time, that is the GUY, even if the wife is clearly the attacker. So, unless your wife is a 6 foot Samoan woman, and you're Michael J. Fox, YOU would be the one carted off by the police.
Did she leave any bruises or marks? If so, a better move might be to go to a doctor and get them to document it (make sure they take pictures and put them in the chart) and then file a restraining order. Get some legal advice before you do anything. The presumption of the law (unfair, I know) is that you are bigger and stronger and therefore capable of escaping the conflict (whereas, an abused woman might not be physically able to get out of the clutches of her attacker).
I agree with the advice to simply take the kids and leave if she starts up again (or, if you have no worries about her with the kids, just exit the house when she starts up).
Did she leave any bruises or marks? If so, a better move might be to go to a doctor and get them to document it (make sure they take pictures and put them in the chart) and then file a restraining order. Get some legal advice before you do anything. The presumption of the law (unfair, I know) is that you are bigger and stronger and therefore capable of escaping the conflict (whereas, an abused woman might not be physically able to get out of the clutches of her attacker).
This is a lot better advice than calling the cops IMHO. kml, brigns up a good point about the veiws of the police in sitch's like this.
How are you doing today brother? Remember do not put yourself in a stich where you or the kids could be harmed. Walk if you have to. Stay at a friends until everything calms back down.
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
