I really appreciate your advice, NOPkins. Thank you.
I am reading and absorbing what you have said. I wish I could just push a fast forward button on the next week of our lives and get to the individual sessions of next Mon & Tue.
I don't know if it's helpful or not, but my best friend has watched us since the very beginning. I asked her if she could tell me how she sees things. She has almost always been supportive and thinks we can work out our issues, but lately has turned more into thinking that he has crossed a line in justifying his behaviors, dragging me through the mud, making requests, etc.
Here is her take, FWIW: I think there are many issues here and they’ve been brewing since the beginning, I suppose. Thinking back, the beginning of your relationship was pretty rocky and dramatic. I think the only time it was calm or “normal” was around the time of your pregnancy w/ Mari and the couple of years after. I’m sorry to say that. That said, I could be totally wrong in my recollection.
The main thing I am stuck on is that I think the biggest problem is Joey’s inability/refusal to move on with the distant past, and this, to me, says there is no hope of things ever being made better/fixed/resolved. I don’t think you can do anything about it. It has to come from him and a desire to “get over it.” I don’t think he can/will. I don’t think he can or is willing to invest what I think you are willing to invest to keep the relationship together. I think he has issues you can’t help him with. I don’t like what I see and I don’t like what you’re going through.
I know what you need is positive reinforcement and encouragement, and I want to give that to you, but I don’t feel positively about how things are. I feel you are not treated fairly or respectfully—that you’re being wronged and you keep coming back for more. I like and care about Joey, but I don’t like the position you’re in. I hate to say I’ve chosen sides, but I suppose I have and I can’t side with Joey.
