Not to be nitpicky but I did write assertive sex. Guess I'm not sure if you are contrasting the words assertive/aggressive or the words sex/play.
My H will "play" sometimes during sex. We have done the roleplay once or twice...that's it. It was fun but still awkward and he hasn't wanted to do anything like that since. I guess this is what I meant by "if you're not into it, your just not into it". Cemar might just call that a desire discrepancy. I think he may be right. I desire sex a certain way. H desires sex in a totally different/opposite way. Not that I don't like to "make love" because I do. But there is a part of me that is no longer being fulfilled. It is a fairly big part of me I think that I have always stuffed away somewhere because I had to. Still do.
Quote:
So, you really are having trouble with left over imagery from other man.
Yes.
Quote:
I know I have asked this, but is there any way you can get hubby to come and post here?
I'm not up for that even if he would Nop. I can only handle so much right now. I really am not looking for answers on how to get H to work with me on this issue. We have tried and tried and tried. It will never be. I need to accept it or move on.
Quote:
If not, I suggest you scour the internet for articles or books describing normal sex play between adults. If you found such information, would he read it?
He'd read it as a joke, maybe try a thing or two if I pushed, but that would not last. We've done that before as well. Got tons of books at one point. He glanced at them. It's not that he thinks any of it is not "normal", he just doesn't want to step out of his comfort zone. He is just who he is and he can only change so much. That is basically what he tells me. He loves me and I should love him for him. LFL
