I have to ask this question. Are you sure she will follow through with the collaborative D and the agreements afterward?
You already know that I am a huge advocate of whats best for kids and more and more I keep thinking for you it would be better to have as much custody of the kids as possible. At this point the kids could tell the judge enough that I would think it would easily swing in your favor. I mean...you could give the judge a list of destructive behaviors she has shown and the just could just ask the kids yes or no if it happened. Have you been journaling everything?
You have been more than tolerant through this whole thing allowing yourself to be abused...are you SURE the kids would be safe with her, physically and emotionally?
Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.
