Another day or so of grace. I'm determined to not disagree. I think it is working as far as keeping the peace goes. At Sven's advice, I'm not agreeing with any type of 'you suck' stuff, but the other issues, re; how she feels, what she wants to do, all that? I agree. Whether she is 100% right or even 50% right doesn't matter, she is right enough that I can say, 'you're probably right' and leave it at that. I've been touching her lightly here and there. On the arm, low back, even her face. She is more relaxed when I hug her and she has been initiating light kisses. On that front, baby steps are better than her former approach which was to run away screaming.
W said that I'm trying to wake her up constantly again. In the past, I wouldn't let it rest. Absolutely, I was wrong that was part of the pursuing, begging and pleading. Last night though, was an honest mistake. W asked if S14 was in bed yet, I told her I would go check on him. He was getting something to drink downstairs, I walked up with him, he went to bed, I went into our room and told W that S14 is in bed. Then I said to her, tomorrow we need to talk about curfew times for him as he wants to stay out until 10 during the summer with his friends. In the middle of this W jumps up in bed and says, "why are you doing this again?, God, can't you see I was asleep, why can't you ever let me sleep?"
I told her, I thought you were awake, just a few moments ago you were awake, I walked downstairs and came back up. I didn't think you would be asleep that fast. Its pitch black in here, how can I know/tell if you are awake or not? W continued on about how I don't let her sleep, more of the same type thing. I told her again that I thought she was awake and we can let it go then, talk about S14 tomorrow, which is what I said originally. I grabbed a workbook I've been studying and walked out. I went downstairs. About 2 hours later, the A/C kicks on and sounds like a freight train is rolling through my basement. I went to check on it, I don't know anything about that stuff. I went upstairs, and this time intentionally woke her to ask if the A/C had been doing this for a while or was this new? W went off. Rightfully so..., maybe. I told her, look this time I knew you were asleep but this is important. I need to know how long this has been doing this, if you noticed it earlier while I was gone. As you can imagine, didn't go so well.
So there I am, until 2AM, washing the A/C filter and hoping I'm not going to blow anything up. Finally got it all put back together and running. Seems to be okay now.
Somedays it just feels like you can't win for losing.
