Reading back over your thread, it looks like you two were really in the zone sexually for a while, and then dropped back out.
Well, it's all relative really . For US, yes, we have had some pretty good sex. But it has slipped back again.
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Wanting sex and being comfortable with sex are two very different things. If we're not in the right "playful" mindset, getting naked, literally and figuratively, with someone we know can be a very uncomfortable thing to do. Even though we want to, we feel awkward and silly and just... not into it. But that doesn't mean we don't want our partner, or that we don't desperately wish we didn't have trouble getting into it and expressing that desire naturally and enthusiastically.
Very true. My H and I are awkward together when it comes to sex. We have never been a good match in that department. But I know he wishes it were different, so that's something at least. I know he cares, but he gets tired of trying to change it, as do I.
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He might be painfully aware of his trouble getting into it and wondering if maybe you should find a fcukbuddy on the side to give you what he can't seem to. At the very least, in his place, I would find it very hard to fault you for being tempted.
Well, subconsciously maybe he does feel that way. Maybe that is why he encourages me to go out with my girlfriends to bars and clubs. But, when he has to verbalize it, he says he is not willing to put up with that nonsense. Mixed messages?
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Can you describe your pushing and testing?
What I mean is that I wait and see if he is going to call me on any of my behaviors. Such as wearing a sexy outfit for girls night out. Any comment? Nope. Or how about sending emails to men I shouldn't be sending them to? Does he care to check? Nope. And this is even after I was caught. I said, don't you want my password for the email? Nope. We shouldn't have to act like that he says. Ok. Your get the idea.
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it makes perfect sense... how could someone who left you high and dry complain when you turned to someone else?
Well, that is true. But I'm just trying to put myself in his place. If I chose to leave right now, yes, I may not be able to say if he could date or not but it would hurt like hell and I would show it. He doesn't show it. Nop says that doesn't mean he isn't hurt. But I still don't "get" that. To me it equates with just not caring. LFL
