My H will be home Tonite or tomorrow and I am looking forward to seeing him and I am feeling the sting this whole month of " THIS TIME LAST YEAR..." the month of May was particularly crucial for me. The "bomb", Mothers Day,,, My H birthday , my Daughters birthday and then Memorial day. And in between it all getting my butt off the floor and wallowing in Misery and just sheer agony.
So sure I have faith that it does not automatically repeat itself but it just is there right now for me. This year May is fantastic so far and I know it will be OK but there is still this constant reminder for me for some reason?

I do believe that is what has pushed me to want to be my most beautiful self... I deserve to take care of me and put me first and put things in my body that will help it not hurt it. To make love to my H like it will be the last time we ever ML. To be the " hot mama " he wants me to be. To enjoy my H like this whole d*mn thing never happened!!!!To let go of the past more everyday. To be a good Mom too... To stop acting like cause I am getting older I am somehow not good enough.. "ow" was far younger than me.

Who cares.. doesn't fruit get juicier and riper and more delicious when it matures???!!! Well that is the attitude I need to have,, sure I am not this young little thing but that is exactly what makes me awesome that I am older wiser and more luscious. The mind is a very powerful tool. 'bout d&mn time I started using it more!!!!
Falling flat on my face and being dragged thru the mud and being left for dead sure as h8ll resurrected me and to want to be the best D8mn Woman I can be!!!!

I'll let you know how it goes..
God bless...