Hi Choco Good for you for initiating this discussion. The quote above was written by your W. My H said almost the exact same words when he left me. Not to worry you even more but those words can just be a nice way of saying "I want out." Part of me feels like that right now myself. Life IS short. Why be unhappy. I don't know Choco. But I think you have to be on offense here as best you can. You can't necessarily change her mind but at least you can say you made the effort. Hope it works out for you. LFL
Good point. I do think that a part of her -- a LOUD part in her mind -- is saying "You can't make him happy. Give him his freedom. He's just too nice a guy to tell you, so do it for him."
She's made hints at this before. Like when I wrote her a REALLY nice poem/card for our anniversary (or was it Valentine's Day?) and she shook her head, got real quiet, and said "You make me sound so much better than I am." She's also admitted, especially during our "mini-bomb" time 4-1/2 years ago, that "I know I'm not a very good wife to you." and "I don't seem to make you happy."
Someone else above asked me what did I learn from the mini-bomb/mini-epiphany my wife and I went thru 4-1/2 years ago. That's a great question. I think I learned, from a SEX standpoint, that I probably came on too strong, and -- as much as she was stretching herself waaaay beyond her comfort zone -- I probably sent some unspoken messages of "it's still not enough for me." More on that later, if and when we ever get back to that point.
And I also learned that she has some deep-seated insecurities, and yet at the same time she does NOT like to talk about them! "I don't want to dwell on that, I just want to keep working on us" would be her comments. Me, I am SO analytical, I like to talk everything to death, and while I think that frustrated her, I think I needed to have pushed her more to undertand why she does the things she does, as I just KNEW she would fall back into her old ways of thinking -- and she did.
In general, I just think we both got WAY too complacent, WAY too soon. Remember, 4-1/2 years ago was about 15 years into some pretty bad habits, on BOTH of our parts. We had far more "fixing" to do than we spent time doing. We didn't build the foundation, and now we're both left wondering why the house is crumbling down.
