Suddenly, a small ray of hope

[built4speed]

Well, something I never thought would happen happened last night. People had been warning me about it but I gave credit to W that she would never do it, but she did. She used the kids.

But not exactly in the traditional way. We are supposed to have another atty meeting Friday. Afterwards, I have plans to go with a friend to a concert. A week or so ago, W informed me that on "her" weekends (we are both still in the house, but we are attempting to implement our parenting schedule, so we are "in charge" of the kids on alternate weekends) she will be doing whatever she wants and I am not allowed to inquire about her whereabouts. Nothing I can do about it, so okay. Occasionally she will claim she is dating, but then backs off when I give her crap about it (meaning I will say it is wrong to do it while she is married, not that I care if she does - which I do, but I don't tell her that). She says it just to get me upset. And of course, she periodically accuses me of dating, which I am not but rather than argue with her as in the past, I just let her wonder. Probably a bit cruel, but she keeps making this stuff up and it's not my job to talk her out of the trees anymore.

So for my outting Friday, I wrote on the calendar that I was busy, and didn't describe what I was doing. Her rules. I had cleared it with her that she watch the kids for me, and she had agreed. Last night she informs me that she is not watching the kids during my "date" and I will need to move my outting to Saturday when she has the kids at church. I told her I had tickets and would just get a babysitter. She also informed me that in the future when I am going out with my "girlfriend" that she will not be covering the kids for me.

So, it's, of course, a bit twisted: she isn't taking the kids away, she's making me see more of them for punishment. Ha!

But I am very disappointed in her. So far she had never used the kids in any manner to try to hurt me or gain an advantage. In the last month, she has thrown stuff at me, kicked the back of my chair, claimed she was dating, claimed she had another lawyer (prohibited by the collaborative agreement she signed), then changed her story and said she isn't dating and doesn't have another lawyer, which mean she was lying about those things one way or the other. She said she would deny that she threw anything or kicked my chair if I told anyone about it. Lying is a new behavior for her.

Sunday she was returning from a trip with S9, and I told her I would pick them up at the airport. On the ride home, I was telling her about a delay I had picking up S12 from school, detailing traffic, etc. In the middle of the story, she says that I never take responsibilty for anything that goes wrong, and that she has never respected me. Right in front of S9. All I could think was, Well, then you're an idiot because you married someone you didn't respect. Our only communication since was her telling me I had to get a babysitter for Friday night. Otherwise, it's cold in that house!

We're approaching a year in July for the in-house separation. I really need this to be done.