They always lie about their relationships with their spouses (saying it's much worse than it really is... it's gets them sympathy, attention, control of the person they want --like a drug. Think about it, affairs aren't built on love, they are built on feelings of mutual sorrow, neediness and wanting to help the other person... add in the excitement of doing something "wrong" and lust... pretty powerful).
And they lie about everything else in an affair as well. Affairs are built on lies. That's why most of them eventually dissolve.
My guess is OW's husband only knows very little if anything. Right now, if it's presented as anything to him it's only an EA with his wife trying to help some poor guy struggling with a "bad" marriage and possible divorce. If he knew it was a PA my guess it he'd be much more angry. Maybe even threatening your husband. Most men don't like the idea of their wives having sex with other guys and wouldn't just accept it because they want their wives happy.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
so in other words there is nothing i can do? well the ow's h dropped her off on friday to meet my h and my h is taking her back home sunday night so i am sorry but there is no way that it is not a PA! The pain just hurts so bad that it is almost unbearable. why r me and the kids the only ones hurting? why isn't my h hurting like we are? also is there anything that i can do to stop him from bringing her around the kids and stop him from bringing her to the house?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
I don't mean to demean you, but welcome to our world. He is isn't your H right now. Read through my threads and you will see I was where you are not too long ago.
As far as keeping the kids away from the OM, the only thing you can do is file for a legal seperation and get a custody order if it is allowed in SC. The order can specify that the kids cannot be in a residence where 2 unmarried people are sleeping.
We are here for you.
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
i will check into that. this situation is a nightmare but its not the worst thing in the world. i would much rather go through this with my husband and his ow than to lose one of my children. so at least this is not the worst thing in the world. It helps me sometimes to think of the worst possible situation and thank god that my situation is not that bad. even so i want to get this trial in my life over with. the bad thing is that to get through this trial in my life i have to have ALOT ALOT and ALOT of patience. unfortunetly, i hardly have any patience. does anyone have any tips on learning patience?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
Lost.... a couple of things...you are being taught patience through this sitch. Unfortunatly I think learning patience is one of the hardest things to learn, thats why there is millions probably billions of impatient people.
As for perspective I agree that keeping your perspective helps you deal with your sitch. I have a good friend that has been supporting me in my sitch from the very beginning. He has a good friend dying from ALS(Lou Gerhigs disease) and hearing what his friend is going through helps give me perspective on my sitch. My same friend the other day told me about one of his old neighbors accidental running over his 3 year kid. Again nothing compared to what we are going through. Trying to keep things in perspective does help...
i am ready to scream and give up on my m. yesterday was mothers day and my h informed me that him and the ow are moving in together this week. They found an apartment this weekend. of all days to tell me this he tells me on mothers day. does anyone have any suggestions? does anyone think that this afair will not work out?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
If you check out my sitch I'm not much help. I too do not know how long I can hold out. What help me tho is to keep logging in here. Even if now body replies it is still a good place to put your thoughts down and vent. We alway think our sitch has to be the worst. With you your H is moving out. It must seem like en of the world to you. Mine my W is still here physicly. Mind wise she comes and goes. One minute everything is quiet the next she is upset about something but won't talk about it.I'm not sure if she is upset with me or the OM who she calls several times aday. I have a feeling something is up. Something is going to happen once my son is out of school for the summer. hang in there. WE all have are bad days and good days.Keep in touch stay strong
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
doesn't my h and this ow moving in together pretty much mean that it is over 4 us? it is one thing 2 be living on his own but how can i get him back if he is living with her and they are already talking about getting married and neither one is even divorced yet.grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!1
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
