NOP is the expert here on A's, but it seems to me that I would focus more, at first anyway, on communication and starting the work on your M w/ your wife. Real life, too, not just via email. Now that you two have set the stage, I think it's time to talk seriously in person.

As for the EA, what I'm trying to say is that maybe I would hold off on bringing that up until you two have had a chance to figure out "where you are" and what you two are going to do to work on the M.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10