In your case, I would say you do it as self-defense because of weak self-esteem.
It is easier to feel unloved by a guy you think is a creep than it is to risk looking for something better and worrying that it might turn out that YOU are unlovable.
You are lovable. Quit being afraid.
I can tell you from experience that getting D is MUCH MUCH better than staying in an M that will never be something that you want. I am very happy that I got D and even happier with my new M. I know with certainty that this is by far the more fulfilling path in my life.
Choose your happiness.
As for money, it sounds like you need to negotiate monthly budgets that include one for household spending and one for your own spending. You should have both financial power and responsibllity in your M.
