j -
You made your choice, you want to give this a try for family and because you still care for your H. All this second-guessing isn't good for you. You spent a LOT of time and careful thought making this decision, with LOTS of input pro-and-con. Trust your decision. You've put plenty of safety nets in place, tested the wind, checked the safety exits, built up your strength. Now just let go and leap!

Ellie