Quote:
well done!


Thanks NJ. Sorry to hear about your Dad. I haven't had much time to respond to other people's threads lately, just skimming quickly to try and keep up.


So as I stated a few hours ago, I sent to final email stating I could not talk to him because I needed to concentrate on my M.
Well, he responded back again.

This is the complete email he sent me:


"I understand and don't want to make things difficult for you. I know
that they are hard enough. Just know that I'm here if you ever need to
talk. I hope that you are able to get clarity in your life soon.
You're a sweetheart - and a total hottie ;\) - and deserve nothing but
happiness. I know that it sucks now, but I'm positive you'll find it
all worthwhile in the end when you do find your happiness."




So he clearly wants to keep the door open for me to contact him. I am not going to do that. I am letting this end but I am still finding this whole thing very surreal.
I thought about our R some more and realized it has been almost two years since we last saw each other. Why is this happening now? Maybe I am reading too much into this but I just can't believe he is contacting me at all. He was the one who encouraged me to try and reconcile with my H when I said it was being discussed. My only guess is that he is really struggling with going to Iraq in June and wants to have some people to talk to. I just don't know.
Nop, I know you said he does not want my M to work and maybe you are right. But I do think he wants me to be happy, whatever that is. I want that too. But I am committed to working on my M right now and I made that clear. Does that equate with happiness? Not as much as I would wish, but I am making the choice to work on my M right now. I am not giving up.
This whole incident over the last few days has me both reeling in emotions and yet also very confident that I want my M to work.
It would be very easy to just drive less than 10 minutes right now to om's house and have that SL that I know we have had in the past that made me want it 100x more with H. But I really have no fear that I will do it. So that is something positive, especially after this renewed interest on om's part. Makes me feel fairly strong despite those emotions that are bound to swirl around for a while. I can handle them. And that is the most important thing.

Ok, saga over for now.

LFL