Tonight I’m going to test my W and see if with the detaching, and space giving I have made any progress.
When the W comes home from Work I’m going to ask her if I get someone to watch our son for a few hours if she would like to go play some pool Sat. night.
Up date on a previous conversation: she stated during our one and only MC meeting. That she feels she is the one that always makes the reservations and plans when we go on vacation. My son mentions going to see the Winchester mystery house during diner. My W said she would like to see that also. I asked her to you want me to set it up and she said yes. Sooooo I have made the hotel reservation, purchsed the tickets on line and everything is set. She seems excited that I did this. The strange thing is I always LET her do this because I thought she liked doing it, COMMUNICATIN..
Gota go now but to quote our governor
I’ll be back
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I’m starting to wobble again. Not sure I want to go on. I am thinking too much about the photos. Why couldn’t she have just asked for a divorce? I don’t know if I can go on with this GAL. I think I would like to end it and then GAL. I’m just having a bas day I guess. I am still going to ask her out tonight. I think her answer will either help me carry on or will send me over the edge. I wish I was man enough to just come out and say either we work on our marriage or I start looking for a lawyer. Aside from the actual hurt of the divorce and what affect it will have on my 10 year old son. It sure would make it easier on me. I wouldn’t have to hide her secret from the family. That’s one thing that bothers me a lot. Is “lying” to the family for something I did not do.
I don’t know. Most likely in an hour I’ll be ok again. She should be home about 6:00 -6:30 a lot of ups and downs till then. I think I need to talk to my C again.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
W just called and said she was running late. called so I would not worry. What's going on? she has never called. She just kind of got home when she got home. If I asked where she went after work she would tell me but say in in a way like I should have known it.Like I could read her mind.. I feek a little beter about asking her out this sat.
stay tuned.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I know. Thanks for the slap. I needed it. If it were not for my son this would have been over 1 mo ago. My W would have had a crash course in a reality check. I'm feeling better now. I use this site to vent sometimes. My W is not home yet. After she gets home and relaxes a bit I’m still going to see if I get someone to watch our son for a while if she wants to go out for a couple of hours and play some a friendly game of pool
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Well, whenever you get that feeling again, just imagine some other guy living with your wife and raising your son. I see that a lot with my friends and others going through divorce. And suprisingly it happens before the divorce is even finalized!!! In addition, it's usually like WWIII between all the ex's/girlfriends/boyfriends/new spouses, etc... Oftentimes things start off relatively civil, but in time they usually deteriorate and get super ugly.
So... you think you have problems, you have no idea how bad it could be!!!
Be thankful for what you do have. Your wife didn't leave you. She didn't take your son away...
(Sorry for harping here! I work in education and see a lot kids whose parents are going through divorce or dealing with divorce issues. Sometimes it makes me sooo angry!).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
So one scenario is I just become a monk and raise my son while a woman lives in my house that is dating another man? I’m being sarcastic here but how much of a father can I be if my mind and soul is being eaten away from our living arraignments’? Believe me I do not want a divorce…. but…… If it were to happen my son would have a lot more of my time with my Ws problems out of the way. Don’t beat on me too hard but the fact is I have had to overcome some pretty devastating hard ships in my past. I have learned that there are some things you can’t change. You can sit around and feel sorry for yourself or you adapt. I lost my leg in a car accident. I have and artificial one and I get around pretty good. I can’t run but besides that I have adapted to my limitations. I work full time and I have my own Firewood business on the side. My first wife became addicted to drugs and left me with a 3moD and a 3yr D. I raised them until I met my current wife. Being that My D’s were so young the D didn’t seem to have any effect on them. Unfortunately my son in 10 and at a very tender age. At 18-19 there would be no problem in fact it would have given me someone to talk to about my problems but at 10 he is still innocent in the evils of the world.
As for imagining some other guy living with my wife and raising my son? What I see is that my son is living with me,I am raising my son and my wife is out there living with who knows still "trying to find herself".
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Would your wife be willing to give you full custody? If you do want a divorce be sure to dicuss that with her. Most women won't do that.
If you are a full-time dad, not dating and devoting all your time to your son he will have your time. Honestly, I've only seen a few people do that. Most seem to spend more time with boyfriends and girlfriends than their kids. But I have seen a few devote their time to the kids and hold off on dating until they are grown. But that's very rare. Most of the kids seem to get very little attention. I imagine people go into this with good intentions, but eventually things change and it's not the result.
But I do understand where your coming from and I realize for some people it seems like the only road they can take. Good luck with whatever you decide.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
