Just thinking of you. Memories are a wonderful thing to have. They are so important at a time like this. I am really enjoying the snippets of family stories.
Incidentally - my Mom had two stem cell transplants (her own cells - there was no family match) and has had no detectable cancer for five years now. She received treatment in Little Rock, AK - some of the most cutting edge research is happening there. Hope your friend does well too - it is a long, hard road.
I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through.
Karen, I enjoyed reading your family story! And that is encouraging news about the stem cell transplant...I want to pass it along, but what do I say? My internet buddy from the SSM BB told me this? Hope you had a nice Mother's Day, and more huggs to my dad's lil namesake there ( there won't be another baby here for a long time, so I've adopted Joseph.)
Corri, You once wrote out a very calming post for me ( when my father was going through pneumonia the last time.) Thank you for that, and for the current hug. I need it.
Well, I held out long enough...I booked a flight for Sunday.
Lil... The fear is there, in my stomach, but I'm going. It's hard to do this and not be in that control mode which bypasses the fear. Usually I'm either in paralyzing fear or counterphobic mode...now I am trying to stay in the middle.
Hairdog...Many thanks, my friend. I thought I was deetaching from the board, but what a place it is to come back to in times of crisis!
This morning I am meeting my friend for another business discussion, that welllness group. We are really going ahead with it. You know, one of the things that kept my father going these last few years was having that circle of friends to meet up with; I just realized I am trying to create that in a more formal way.
Have a good day everyone! And post yoour family stories...I'd love to hear them!
The fear has settled in the pit of my stomach but I'm doing okay.
My father was moved to the ICU because of sepsis( blood infection) from a line. This means a 4 week course of another antibiotic. Paradoxically, he appears to be fighting off the pneumonia and has had more periods of lucidity.
My father has said many times that the health care in Florida is better for the elderly than in NY, and I agree. They are so much more aggressive with the elderly.
I have continued with the reflecting...I see how much I tried to be like my father, and in doing so I emulated not only his wonderful qualities, but some of the negative ones as well. A champion of women's rights, he was a self admitted chauvinist at home. He had a condescending attitude toward my mother and would belittle her in his way. And she would pull some move in a P/A way to even the score. I can better observe ow I acted in much the same way in my own marriage and I am straightening that part out. There's more respect and more balance, and my H has been doing his part as well. Really incredible, and I don't think I would have seen so much without highlighting all these interactions on this board and reading and observing other situations, especially as it pertains to sexuality.
My desire has fallen off, not just from this episode with my father, but because the crazy drama is gone. My H has come forward to keep our sex life regular and interesting...and so loving. It has NEVER been like this.
I am still struggling with his betrayals of me, but I try to keep in mind the way in which he must have felt betrayed, and I move on. It's a work in progress.
I'm heading for Florida on Sunday...just getting things in order here with the kids and I am off.
