Welcome to the forum. We are a small group b/c we are in that transistion - still working for the M but we realize there is but a slight chance of recovery. My next stop is Surviving.
Let me be blunt - you have way too much invested in your R. You joined in 2004 so you know the value of detachment but somehow, well over two years later you are still stuck and undecided. Yet W has moved on and there is the OM. Your writing is hard to follow but does your W only see the kids once a month? If so, that also says a lot.
Are you in IC? If not, please consider. Your words sound desparate. Yes, this hurts but from your words your W seems to be pulling all your strings. That is not good - for you or your kids.
Quote:
The counseling we are going to Thursday AM is for our daughter and that is supposed to be the focus of it. However through talking with my daughter I know a big part of my daughter’s issues with her mom is she would like “US” to be together as a family how we used to be.
Yes - the counseling is about your kids and not your M. If you focus on reconciliation rather than your kids that is not good. Sorry to be so blunt but don't put your kids in a bad place. Don't use your kids in any way.
And the last thing - the other Lady? You need to decide if you want to try again with W or not. OW will only complicate things. Ethics have little to do with it - your focus should be to get your head straight. OW will not let that happen.
Luck. But it is time to make some choices and go with them. If your M is done that is okay. If you want to try that is okay. But you cannot have it both ways. You have to decide for your own sanity. And you have to belly up to the bar for your kids so they do not see indecision - or worse feel they are caught in the middle.
