Piecing Advice

[Rob1231]

Hey there, SD. I'm gonna ramble a little bit, bear with me.

I have a friend at work who is very into following horoscopes. He's always trying to get me to look at mine and convince me how it applies to my life. And you know what? I JUST HATE THAT.

Here's why. Horoscopes presume that what a person does, or what happens to them, is controlled by something totally random and arbitrary - the day of the year when they were born.

What's worse, my friend will make judgments on people based on their "signs". As in, Oh, sure, she's stubborn - she's a Taurus. To me, this is just a new and different flavor of stereotyping. No better than Oh, sure, she's stupid - she's blond or Oh, sure, he's lazy - he's colored.

Bullsh!t, bullsh!t, bullsh!t!!! It's so much "easier" to believe that who we are, and what we do, and even what happens to us, is the result of things outside of our own control. The phase of the moon, the month of our birth, our hair color, our skin color, or religion.... That's all so much simpler than taking the responsibility for learning about a person, seeing what really motivates them and what makes them unique.

OK, so that's one of my personal soapboxes. I'll climb back down now.

Do you see why I shared this? Because you're being tempted with a similar form of pre-judgment. You're letting your middle-of-the-night self fall for the idea that this anniversary means the same cr@p will happen as last year. And you are conveniently ignoring the fact that your H is NOT the same person he was then. He may not be 100% perfect yet (who is?) but he is also not the same messed-up letter-writing schmuck you told me about way back then.

More importantly, YOU are not the same person you were a year ago. Not by the wildest stretch of the imagination!

The stuff you went through a year ago was the result of who you both were. Those people are GONE, hon. And the bomb and the bad times from a year ago is gone with them.

As I have thought about it some more as I was typing this, I had a little revelation. I have decided that I am not going to dread my bomb anniversary anymore. Instead, I am going to CELEBRATE it! I am a better person, in a better relationship, as a result of that day. Sure, there have been some really lousy experiences during the past year, but there have also been some really fantastic ones - ones that I never would have had without the bomb. I'm a better, happier person today because of that day last summer - and that's the only thing that matters.