Wife hits me.....need help....

[~Sol]

No, I haven't gone that far yet.....I will if she gets abusive with me again. It's all about the yelling now...I'm tired of it.

[Aud31]

Sol--sorry your weekend was so awful. I think you're on the right track here. Nothing will improve either way without you taking a stand. My thoughts and prayers are with you brother.

[~Sol]

I talked to an attorney over the phone, and they asked me that I can file at the magistrate's office in juvenile court and get my wife out of the house. They also told me that I should do that soon and let them know about the physical abuse from yesterday in order to make it happen. I would essentially be putting her out, and I can also tell them abut her mental state about her suicide threats. In VA, they take that seriously and she would be ordered to get admitted in a psych ward right away to determine if she is a danger to herself and to her kids.

She has always brought this threat in every major fight we had. But I was told that it would be cheaper to file the paperwork on my own which is the same thing the attorneys will do. I can't prove adultery, which would be an immediate divorce, I only have her mental instability to get her admitted.

I'm at a loss of how I should proceed. The lawyers want 2K up front as a deposit, and they charge on average $185/hour for them to do all the work.

I just don't know if I should force her out this way..

[osu43130]

SOl,

As we told you earlier. Stay clear. If that means when she get insane which is bound to happen again...WALK. Have a friend on stand by where you can stay (short term) meaning an evening or so until she calms down.

Do not give her the house and do not permently move out. Just get away from the drama as quickly as possible when it starts.

Also. I agree with calling the cops when it gets physical. Especially around the kids. That is not the right type of atmosphere for them to be brought up in.

First and formost though. CALL A LAWYER AND FOLLOW HIS/HER ADVICE. They will be the ones that tell you what you can and can not do. The longer you put that off the more mistakes you are going to allow yourself to make out of ignorance. Not calling you ignorant but I made a lot of mistake out of ignorance just because I did not know what would or would not help my sitch.

Protect yourself and your kids now brother. That is all you are gauranteed in this life.

Ben

[~Sol]

Already talked to a lawyer. Based on her suicide threats and the recent physical outburst yesterday, they told me I can get a restraining order against her and have her out of the house.

Should I do that? I don't know. But I was told that if SS is on my side and he is a bear witness to her abuse on me that it wise not to get the police involved in this instance. SS is a credible witness for the lawyers.

The main thing they asked me is if I wanted to get custody of my daughter, which I do. So in order to make that happen, I will need to play dirty and get my W a pysch evaluation by the state (they will come and "detain" her and she will be admitted into one. So I can't get her on adultery charges, but the mental instability will work, and then there is the abuse on her part - also plays in my favor.

She has already es pressed her desire to run if I pursue something like this.

[mcojh]

Do it. One of two things will happen. It will wake her up and get her the help she needs and help your M, or you will get resolution to the sitch.

[~Sol]

I am getting really depressed about this whole thing......

[Yoyowife]

I'm so sorry Sol, no one should have to go through what you are going through. Just keep your wits about you and take care of yourself and your children. Let it all out while you are alone, cry, scream. This way you will be better able to face whatever is ahead of you. You are in my prayers.

[osu43130]

Should I do that? I don't know.

That is something you will have to answer not us.

Answer the following Questions.

1) Do I want to be in an abusive relationship?
2) Am I doing what is best for my children?
3) Am I happy with my R/M and have I seen any improvements?

She has already es pressed her desire to run if I pursue something like this.

One more question.

Do you want to ever see your Daughter again? If she runs my guess is she is taking the kids with her...

[~Sol]

She might just get up and go. She told me she was taking my daughter with her, not sure about SS. I explained the kidnapping scenario to her, she freaked out and cussed me out in response.

No, I do not want to be in this abusive R.
Yes, I want what's best for my kids - I'm not doing what's best for them yet.
I am NOT happy, and improvements went down the toilet.

I want to see my daughter again....