New guy stuggling

[Aaronous]

Hello all,
Well, I am new to this forum but not new to the community. For several months I was over in the "Now we are separated.." group. Since the divorce was final in March, I figured I would come over here. So here is a quick recap of my story...

Aug 22, 2006 W tells me she doesn't love me anymore and is done. She wants a divorce. She gets an lawyer and starts the process in Sept. She wants to be out by Oct. She decides that the best place for her to go is to live with her parents in FL. I live in Las Vegas. 2500 miles away. I guess I could have fought it but I was still hoping she would change her mind and quite honestly, I couldn't afford to pay for her to stay here since she is a stay at home mom. She left Oct 8, 2006. She has been down there ever since.
She blames me for everything and is not interested in even considering me in any way. I admit that I have a lot of responsibility in the problems in the marriage. I would work long hours and travel a lot for work. When I came home on the weekends, I would not want to do much but be around the house. I am not terribly social by nature and I think this really drove her crazy. I know we have problems but I still believe that we could fix them if we would give it a try. I recognize that I was wrong in so many ways. I know she is hurt and I truly wish that I could take that hurt away.

I have read many posts and they give me hope. I also know that she may never come back. That is really hard.

I am doing all I can to change. I have completely changed my diet and have been exercising several days a week. I have already dropped some wieght and feel much better physically. I have also done some serious reflecting about how my actions have hurt her and how I could do better. I feel like I am living a much better life as far as my attitudes and such. I am not the same guy I was when she left.

I still struggle every day with missing my family. We were married 12 years. She was my best friend and the person I trusted the most in this world. I feel very empty inside without her and my kids. Sometimes I don't want to go on.

So anyway, I guess I am just hoping for words of encouragement and strength. I am hoping to find some good stories of success here too. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

- A -