Oh, how I hated it when my H would try to say "that's not what you asked me". In his mind he would answer a question that was "technically truthful". Like if I asked him if he was looking at porn online, in his mind he'd think...well AFF isn't a "porn site",so his answer in his mind was technically truthful...even though he KNEW what I was talking about.
This thing about the porn issue and you sleeping in the bed...is now, at this point BS. He's using it as an excuse (not a defense mechanism) not to recommit. If you two are recommitted to trying to make your marriage work....then that means you BOTH need to recommit fully. No more sleeping apart, no more using porn to avoid you, you selling the truck...you know, BOTH of you committing fully to make things work.
His behavior of pushing you away has become a habit for him, and it's a habit he's going to have to break if he wants to save the marriage. You can only do so much to heal him from your infidelity...it's up to him to do his part in healing himself as well, and that will mean that at some point he will have to start behaving as your HUSBAND again, and not your roommate. It's tough for a betrayed person to do...but it is necessary.
