Afterall..... This IS my life IV for heatherg

[heatherg]

His response....well, my first statement to him was "H, when I asked you if the porn, the pictures, the websites, the secret movies were still going on, you said no." He sat there for a minute and said 'Well, you didn't ask it exactly like that...' I said Yes I did. So, he first tried to make it sound like he didn't lie to me by making it sound like he answered a question that was different than the version I was now presenting. Which is crap. We didn't dwell on that. I know what I said that day and I know how he answered.
He then tried to say it wasn't really up for discussion as far as he was concerned. I said 'Is that so?' He said 'I don't know what to tell ya'. I said 'No, if that's how you feel, then that's EXACTly what you need to tell me'. He then started talking a little, can't remember about what, but enough to indicate that he was backtracking on the 'not up for discussion' statement.
He then tried to blame it on the fact that we haven't been 'reconciled' all that long. ie. I could still give him divorce papers any day. I told him that he was not commiting to the R.
I confronted him on the two movies I found. '18 and ready to fukc'. Nice, huh? I told him that I am never going to be 18 again, so if that's what he's looking for perhaps I would be doing him a favor by cutting him loose. He didn't say anything. I told him I would appreciate it if he would dispose of the movies he had. If, in the future, he wanted to get a porn movie, that he should discuss it with me and we would do it together just like we used to.
I also told him about another issue that was bothering me. The other night, I started out sleeping in 'our/his' bed because the remodeling contractor had a bunch of equipment in the computer room where I usually sleep on the nights H stays up late (othewise I sleep on the couch). When it was time for H to come to bed, he actually turned on the light in order to get me to get up and go out of 'his' bed. This really bothers me because I would think we've made enough progress by now where he should be feeling a LITTLE empathy for me and I feel like he should have just slept elsewhere since I was already sleeping. So, I addressed that with H and told him that he seemed to feel very entitled to our bed and that it is plain silly at this point to be doing this. He said 'It's vey important to me' and he referred to it as a 'defense mechanism'. I told him it was not conducive in any way to a new relationship. He said 'for all I know I could get divorce papers tomorrow'. I said 'I told you I would be here for another year and I will'.

I told him that was how I felt on the porn issue, there's no need to dicuss it further or to drag it out and that I'd like to drop it now and move on.