Wife hits me.....need help....

[~Sol]

OK,

I am hearing that I need to stay in the house, and let HER move out. She won't. If I get more physical abuse from her after this point on, I am getting the police involved and everything will go on record.

But do I leave the house or not? I already know I need to leave the M.

I need to figure this out, get to a lawyer asap........

I am home now with my daughter, W is at work tonight.

[12102006]

Sol

If you need a year in your state of separation, would or could
she stay with someone? I would never give her the house or let
it be in her name only...could the courts sell it off at the end
of your separation? Of course, they sell to unload at the low
price.

Yes, the marriage needs to end...there is no turning back on
this one...it's past the mark...it's a shame you have to wait
a year.

It seems that she has a need to be taken care of - for lack of
her ability to provide for herself...but this is becoming a bit
to surreal...you deserve so much better...it's time to cut your loss.

If she calms down, in time, try to bring up the separation...if
she lashes out, leave the house immediately, go for a drive, or
to the mall...let her cool off. From this point forward, her
anger will escalate continually, when agitated...be aware, leave
if she hits you...walk out...

ASTGO stated, it's a walking time bomb...you don't want to be on
the receiving line of it.

[12102006]

Sol

DO NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE...it's 50% yours...she can't be trusted
now...she could turn this around saying you abandoned the family
and took off...her thinking is distorted.

Call an attorney...

[~Sol]

I told her today that the house was MINE TOO. I repeated it. She got silent.

I made one phone call with a lawyer, but nothing I could do until I was in the divorce/separation process.

I am calling one tomorrow - and I will eventually start the process. I am not moving out of the house. You are right, it is 50% mine and I pay every house payment.

She's screwed up in the head........

[~Sol]

OK, made it to work without getting into it with W. She was in the shower as I got out of mine, so I didn't even see her in the morning. She did however come home for lunch at 2am, and I had put all the locks on so she rang the door bell like a crazy woman. I just let her in and I went back to sleep. She was actually quiet, had the TV low, and had her meal in the living room. It's interesting to note that she bothered to come home on her lunch break. Whatever. She needs help.

I heard her try to come in to "her bedroom", where I was sleeping, to use "her bathroom", but she saw me in bed and she didn't bother to use it, instead she used the main bathroom that she never goes into. I heard her flush, but that was all the noise she made. I then heard her drive off, and she had her music really loud - I could hear it across the end of the house. I see the drama continues...but I am no longer her bait.

I have decided that I don't want an abusive R with her when I know I can have better. She will make it hard for me to leave. I am looking for lawyers today and will make some phone consultations......

Other than that, I am doing OK at work right now...

[RedHeadWife]

Sol, sorry it came to this, but I think you are doing the right thing. You and your D don't need to be in that kind of atmosphere. Was she married before? What happened to her other M? Same type of things?

Talk to an attorney and get all the info you can. I also agree, don't move out. I know that may be hard, but you don't want to give her any leverage w/ the house, your D, etc.

[~Sol]

W was abused as a young girl by her dad. Her mom is a kind person, very much unlike my W.

I am not leaving the house, but biting my tongue and sticking it out until I get more legal advice. There will need to be a separation agreement - and that will cover any leverage and make things clear about who is doing what and why.

I just care more about my daughter's future and well-being..

[*KS*Chick*]

IMO - Sol - you should not leave the house. In our state she could get you for abandonment. Remember she's not right right now - she might try that.

As for selling - I imagine once you start down the legal road and the L's tell her the options - her buying you out or selling and splitting, she'll sell.

I'm sorry man.

[~Sol]

I hope so. She is determined to keep the house and to also keep me....it's insane!!!! She wants to live like this because she doesn't see a way out. It will be hard for her to give up her cake, but that's not my problem....

[Yoyowife]

Sol,
Have you looked into a restraining order? I know someone who filed one against their H because of abuse and he had to move out. Just a thought. I don't know how it works in your state. I agree do not move out and let her have the house. The children need your stability!