I can relate so much to what you're going through. It sounds like you are incredibly strong and handling this with grace. I've only seen the back of the Ow's head and that was enough for me! But H started bringing her along on visits with S4 months ago, so I've had to get used to hearing her name. It's sickening and very painful.
I've been doing this for 18 mos and only last week went to the court to start the paperwork for legal separation. H continues to live in la la land and I have learned a lot about detaching (w/ love on a good day). I do a lot of praying, crying, talking and writing. H hasn't filed anything and seems to be in a state of complete denial as he carries on a completely alter-ego lifestyle w/ Ow.
My best advice is keep DBing, GAL (Very difficult, but so necessary), take care of YOU!
I have learned so much these past 18 mos. I still love my H and miss him dearly, but he is not the same person I fell in love with. He has some major growing up to do. He's having a delayed adolescence and complete identity crisis. Nothing I did or didn't do in our marriage would have stopped this from happening. He was a ticking time-bomb and no one, not even he, knew it.
I believe in miracles and I pray for them. I made a little "butterfly box" ( I love butterflies) where I put my wedding ring and write little prayers. I'm not a religious person but I have a tremendous faith in the God of my understanding which has walked me through this with grace.
No matter what happens I can always hold my head up high knowing that I stood for my marriage. That makes me feel good inside.
I hope you continue to walk through this with grace - for you and for the sake of your kids.
M.
Monica
My sitch: Me 40 H 30 M 8 yrs 1 S5.5 Bomb Oct 2005 Sep Nov 2005 H w/ Ow I filed for LS June 2007 H responded w/ D 2007 I have sole P custody, joint L Just need to take care of Final Judgement papers
