I'm new to the forum, but have just invested HOURS catching up on your saga. Man, you are one tough dude! Seriously, I admire your courage, strength, persistance and mostly, your values. Your dedication to your family is inspiring and at the end of the day, the example you are setting for your boys in terms of not giving up on your family will be with them forever, regardless of the situation's outcome.
I am unfortunately in the early stages of all this. Essentially, the W is saying there is no hope, never really loved me, never will and all that. So reading your posts and the incredible responses you get from a very caring cast and crew here provides much needed guidence during this dreadful time.
It looks as though your situation is improving to me, just in the fact that your W is "dating" you, even though she sees it as something else. Yeah, right. I believe much of what you are dealing with is similar to my problems. My W didn't like the fact that I didn't stand up for her with a sitch we were involved in (even though she told me not to). BTW, my W did the eating disorder thing too before we were together; it never truly goes away I think. Also, I just have not been an Alpha Male in her eyes, and that is a big mistake because my W likes men to be strong. I'll read the book and see how that goes.
The DBing thing is brutal. Detach? Hell, I want to grab her and never let go. Wrong move, don't I know. That's what I've been doing for two years when she has been screaming for space. If I only knew then.......
Big kudos on the weight loss thing. My bomb was 4 1/2 months ago and I've gone from 225 (at 5'11") to 175. At first, I just couldn't eat, but then I hit the gym, got a personal trainer, entirely changed my diet (how do you keep eating wings and drinking all the beer?) and just put a lot of energy into making positive changes. Of course my wife screwed our kid's swim coach (her 38 / him 23) who is a young, well-built guy - happened over two years ago (only once). That revelation on bomb-day woke my fat a** up! This getting-in-shape thing at least let's me have control over something, and something important.
Keep being an inspiration to us newcomers! I'll be checking in regularly from now on and hope I can add a nugget or two of insight. In the meantime, I'm going to read up on the sitch's of the others in here that have provided so many good words. I know I will learn more there as well.
If anyone wants to chime in on my mess, here goes (can anyone tell me how to cleanly link this to my "signature")
Me: 39 WAW: 40 S10, D7, S6 Bomb #1 - 12-24-06: Move out (ILYBNILWY - admitted '05 PA) Move back: 3-2-07 (W: I still want to be married to you) Bomb # 2 - 4-11-07: (W: Can't do this - never loved you) Move out again: 4-29-07 Dark: 6-8-07
