You sound like such a great guy--what is wrong with your STBX? It's always nice to get a male perspective because I have no clue how you guys think! I doubt he's reading up on anything because he's not a reader, but I'm wondering if his C is "helping" him understand things as far as that goes. Who knows.
He did ask me about 4-1/2 weeks ago if he could move back. He realized he made a huge mistake, still loved me, etc. I said yes, but we had a lot of things to talk about, work out, etc. He was working at the time and said he would call me the next morning. He was thinking that he would have to quit his job because OW works there and is the boss' ex-wife. (talk about a situation!) He was worried how he'd be able to live, support himself and he also carries health insurance for me and my son.
He did call the next day but said that he was waiting to talk to his boss and that maybe he should still live where he is while we try to work things out. I said okay. Then I didn't talk to him for about 4 days when he called and said he had started counseling and needed to go twice a week for 8 weeks. He said he needed to find out why he was so f****ed up and he wanted to wait until he worked that out before he moved back. I said okay again. Now, I am trying not to put any pressure on him by asking him anything. He has 4 more weeks of counseling before his eight weeks are up and he is going to have to say something to me eventually. Either he needs more time or he's ready to move back. I'm thinking that's when I need to say, "ok, what does that mean?" Part of me doesn't believe he is ever going to be moving back here, at least not in the foreseeable future. Maybe that's part of the trust thing. I do want to fall in love again with him and build a new R, but I just don't see any signs from him that he wants to fall in love with me. So, I figure I'll cross that bridge when/if he finally says, "I'm ready to move back." Do you think that's okay or should I say something now? After today, I really don't want to talk to him about us.
I sound wonderful because of wonderful people like you and strongenough are kind enough to help me!! Thanks again.
