Thanks for lifting my spirits. I did forget to mention one thing. He made a point of telling me his plans for the evening by saying sarcastically, "Tonight should be a fun night." Of course I asked what was going on. He said he was going to a party with his roommate. His roommate is dating a cop and she just bought a house and is having a housewarming party. He said it would be wierd to be at a party with a bunch of cops. Now I'm pretty sure but not definite that the OW will probably be there, but maybe not. Anyway, I told him that it sounded like fun and that I hope he has a good time. I meant it too--didn't even bother me! I was positive and upbeat! Me!!--who knew!!
Anyway, I meant to tell you earlier too that I have forgiven him for the affair, but have not told him that. I think that's why I hugged him 2 weeks ago and told him I loved him. It was my way of telling him that I forgave him.
I've had the same thoughts about the living situation too. Maybe he just wants a place to live, but he told me that's not true. He said he wants "us" to be back together and he is definitely moving back here. That's why today is so confusing to me. How can you want "us" when you don't want any physical contact.
I thought of something else too. He was in a good mood when he first came over today, but after he came back from shopping, he wasn't. He made the comment that the whole shopping thing "sucked and it ruined his day." I remembered something Jeff said earlier about him thinking that he's a loser. Maybe that's what he was thinking about himself since he came home with nothing. I told him not to be so hard on himself and I would have been happy with anything and I wasn't even expecting anything, so relax about it. I didn't act upset or disappointed because I really wasn't expecting anything.
I don't think I should be giving any advice but I am sure willing to listen. How are things going with your situation? Are things better or not? I would love to be able to help you if I could.
