There are some advantages to acting super alpha, super macho, super threatening. One is that the best defense is a strong offense. Nuclear deterrence ala mutually assured destruction. It works with the right people. MrsNop is a peacemaker, one who wants to reconcile two warring factions, so threats like the ones Nop makes are actually comforting to her. The line is so clear, so strong, so deep, there is no worry she will ever have to face a hard choice. It can also serve as proof to a woman of how much her man loves her.
This kind of strutting, blustering, intimidating is all a bonding ritual, IMO. The woman’s role is to also rush to the aid of the H, as you see MrsNop do instantly whenever someone attacks Nop. I’ve mentioned before the geese do the exact same thing. That take it even further in that the female will instigate an even with another male by badgering him. Her mate will then rush to attack that male and defend the female. That reinforces the bond. It seems to work for geese.
In people, I see this type of interaction as rooted in fear and insecurity. It is a need to continually show boundaries out of fear those boundaries might get breached. Nop’s statement that he would break the other man’s jaw just for his own satisfaction, and then throw out the marriage anyway, has little to do with building a healthy relationship and more to do with deterrence.
I see it as nothing more than intimidation and therefore control. Like I said, it works for geese, and apparently some people. I don’t think it would work for many others. The reason for that is the intimidation is meant to prevent the woman from having to face a choice. I see it in the same spirit though a less sever form of the control practiced by the Taliban. Here are the rules… follow them and the safety and security of the woman is assured, even revered. Step out of line and swift, sever punishment is sure to follow for all who were associated with the “crime.” Now tell me whether that sounds like a healthy marriage or just another form of control?
