Help--Need Objective Perspective

[StrongEnough]

farmtown46- Sorry to see you here.

Like Jeff said....there are a lot of positives for you. First and foremost, please don't regret not postponing the D.

What I see here is baby steps. He is slowly starting to put his feelers out. Sometimes they get scared and back pedal a little. That's normal. I won't lie....this is not going to be an easy ride.

Read through Michelle's book. Start making the changes in your life that you want to. Work on you. Change the things you don't like about yourself. Detach from your XH. That's the biggest key to making it through this with your sanity. It's hard but it can be done. You can get yourself to a point where your X's action or lack thereof don't affect you so much if at all.

Two things you will read in the book and over and over on this board is:

The only actions you can control are you own.(I want to add this in too) If you choose to change how you act/react towards someone they have no choice but to change how they act/react towards you.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Remember X is going to do what he wants to do. You cannot control that or change that. Worry about controlling your action/reactions. Think before reacting. Take your gut instinct reaction and do the total opposite. After a while it becomes second nature.

Forgiveness. One of the tougher things to work on but perhaps the most important. It's very empowering when we are finally able to truly forgive our X. It's the beginning of a great personal growth process.

If this is something you want....then re-read the book and follow the principles.(sp?) There is no guarantee that you and your X will get back together. If you can accept that and go with it you'll still come out of this a stronger, happier person.

The board is kind of slow on the weekends. I will keep checking in on you though. Good luck and remember baby steps!!!!

~SE