That's what I'm questioning. "Why" does she feel she cannot remain married? She has said that she feels that things will not change if she gives it another try.
I did say that I would talk with my parents, but I really don't know why she will not continue to work on the marriage. After 13 years together, I just don't think walking away is the answer. True, our marriage was sexless for a long time. But, I know things can change. I just need another chance. She just seems to have made up her mind and isn't willing to change.
In regards to her statement of "I hope that once we talk that you can understand my reasoning, and if not, at least respect it." I would like to know what her reasoning is as to why she doesn't think it can work. Why she won't give it another try?
Should I email her, call her? She said that she was going to write me a letter, but she hasn't done it.
What can I do to get her to give me another chance?
Since your marriage was sexless for a long time, there is a fair chance that she has met someone that she finds more compatible.
Whether she has or hasn't, she has obviously made up her mind that she wants a clean painless break from you. I will tell you this, most woman, not all, have someone else in mind when they leave. That is not always the case though, one of the posters here, Mojo, is divorcing her husband due to sexual issues and there is no third party involved.
No matter what you do, you are going to have a near to impossible time changing your wife's mind, in my opinion.
The reason I am telling you this is to setup a scenario for you. A potential to throw a cog in the works so to speak, but a risky one.
If you want to take the risk and skip out on the techniques you may have been using, let me know, I will give you some last ditch ideas, but please, only if you are serious.
It is also possible that the best course of action is just to let her go, clean up your issues, and then start over with someone more compatible.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Lots of the family & friends says to just move on....
I just can't give up. It's not in me.
She says that there is no one else. I just don't know for sure, but I tend to believe her.
What are the last ditch ideas, I'm interested and serious. Right now I'm not contacting her in any way unless she contacts me with a valid question. I haven't responded to her email today.
I'd like to know the ideas, then weigh out the options.
She still hasn't filed or asked me about filing, so does that still mean anything?
If she hasn't filed then she may still be undecided, but it also increases the likelihood that she is seeing someone else.
Quote: "I'd like to know the ideas, then weigh out the options."
That's a problem. If I lay out the plan to you start to finish, then it likely won't work. A lot of the plan will be modified based on her responses to your actions.
So my question to you, is this, are you at the point of giving up on existing plans right now, or do you feel more comfortable with your current plan. There is no shame in that.
Let me be clear - I don't want to take you on a journey of messing with your wife's plans, with you having any doubt that you understand and are willing to undertake the risks.
The options are win or lose. There are no other options to consider. I have done this before and won, but that is in NO WAY a guarantee.
Why don't you post a detailed list of your current situation, what you know of your wife's current situation, how you are fixed legally and financially, and how well you are sleeping and eating. I am especially interested in any recent "odd" interactions between the two of you.
Sit on it a couple of days, then if you decide you want to play, we will take it off the forum and into email and see what we have to work with.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
What I'm doing now is really just having no contact with her. It just doesn't seem that she's moving away from her decision.
She really may be seeing someone or have someone in mind to see. She is still wearing her wedding ring and says that she'll remain faithful until the divorce is final. I know she has respect for me and really doesn't want to hurt me. She really is a good person. I think she's just finished with being married to me. She also knows that I'm a smart guy and generally find out info that others might not. I've proved this too her in the past with her and other people. However, she may be better at hiding thing too. She also has learned to be truthful to me, because I often know the answer before I ask the question. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad snoop or someone that holds things over someone's head. I just have a nack for getting info.
I really don't know what to do at this time. I probably need to lay low for another few days if not a week. Then I may need to take action. She seems to have "decided" that divorce is what she wants. I'm just not clear as to why she's not pushing for it to move forward. She's also not pushing to sell the house or get it ready to sell. There's a lot of mixed signals, but really I think she's made her decision.
I really would like to know more about what you're thinking. May be you can map it out generally, and I can walk thru it with you as I go.
NOPkins, I tried to send you a private message, but it says you are over your limit.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
