My xH was a lot like you are now, though we NEVER went three years without sex. Ever.
Recently, I saw my xH at a school function for our youngest son. Just by chance, we met in the hallway. It was only the two of us. He came out the gym, smiling. Don't know what he was smiling AT, but, I can tell you... his demeanor hit met like a ton of bricks.
He was smiling, like I said, he was relaxed, there was no tension in him, or his shoulders, he looked... happy. He SO CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD, I paused. We exchanged a few nothing sentences, and then my son came out... he went off with our son, I went home.
The sitch stood out so singularly in my mind, I actually emailed my xH, unpromted... and told him how wonderful it was, for the first time in 12 or more years, to actually see him some way other than annoyed or stressed or pissed off. I told him that whatever he had done to finally find that look of peace and happiness, to keep doing it, for I had not seen it in the very longest of times. I told him it looked good on him, and that was the man I had remembered from so long ago.
So. Keep going as you are, and hopefully, sometime in the future, you will get an email, exactly like mine, from your ex-wife.
