Yes, I understand the pressure of "not wanting to play" - you seem to definitely have somewhat of a societal disorder more than anything, but that's my layperson's view of course. Rather like a phobia of sorts

I am hoping the doc can find you a balance of meds that work for you, nothing more frsutrating that not feeling balanced and I think that is where you are at right now

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
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Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)