Just to clarify - I am not leaving this site. Sorry if it came across that way. I am simply going to have to move to a different section of the site - like AFTER THE D or something......
Yes - yesterday was anti-climactic. I didn't go to the hearing... XW called at about 4 and said it was over. It almost didn't happen because her L called at the last minute and had "more important things to do". So XWs L said she could postpone or they could send in a "junior colleague". XW had to wait several hours for her case to be heard. Everything was already done and signed (we signed everything back on March 28, 2007). So my L advised me not to go. Even XWs L advised me not to go. All she did was provide signed documents and POOF! - we were D!
I felt a sigh of relief. What's funny is that I never filed a response to the D papers I was served with and I didn't even show up to the hearing. So I never even had to agree to the "Yes - there has been a breakdown of the M that is not recoverable" question. Didn't have to answer it - the answer is undoubtedly YES.
I feel relieved and happy that this is finally over. My life can continue to move forward free from the shackles of this D mess. A tiny part of me is just a bit bummed - I am now a D statistic. I never thought I would be one, but here I am. It really isn't as bad as I thought - I don't feel any different - I am still me!
Part of me looks back and knows that I had some good times with my XW and I will never let her paint our M as all bad - no matter how hard she wants to try. But part of me also knows that this woman had/has problems. And she will struggle in life until she has dealt with these problems. As I look back, I see that her whole entire life has been one of simply pointing out the problems and then figuring out which way to point the figure for who is to blame. I take responsibility for my contributions to our problems. I know what they are, have confronted them, and aleady am proceding more intelligently in life thanks to this whole experience. I have found solutions to what I consider my problems.
Maybe it is the engineer in me, but life is full of problems. When you find a problem you can either blame someone else for it and sit around and wait for it to fix itself OR you can dig in and find a solution for the problem. It is not always the right solution or the best solution - but nonetheless - it is the desire and attempt to find a solution to a problem that perhaps separates those who get it in life from those who mearly watch as life goes by them.
There is a quote I found by Henry Ford. It goes like this:
"Life is a series of experience, each of which makes us bigger even though it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and griefs which we endure help us in our marching onward." - Henry Ford
Today I woke up relieved. Today and for the rest of my life - I will march onward. One chapter of my life has finally come to a close. I have already turned the page and dipped the pen back into the ink my friends. For today, I continue to write the story of the rest of my life.
I thank you all for your help over the last year. I mean this with all of my heart - I would not be here if not for the help and support of all of you. I really don't know where I would be. But certainly finding this site, Michelle's book, and all of you has changed me forever. From the bottom of my heart - I am truly thankful to Michelle and everyone here. You all have been a beacon of light in the dark nightmare I have gone through. I have come out a better person. I have come out closer to God. I have come out closer to my children. I have come out a lot smarter than I was before. Most of all - I have come through this having the opportunity to meet friends like you.
