I was a little taken aback at 1) you would assume that I have not tried to help my son, including therapy or counciling and 2) you assume that I need help.
Good. I am glad. But does that mean you have sought counseling for your son?
The second statement shouldn't be surprising at all--since I've said that in probably the majority of my posts to you. I have consistently expressed concern that you are not moving throughy this in a healthy manner due to your overwhelming anger and bitterness, and that in my opinion you would benefit from external professional help. I have asked you on 3-4 occasions in your previous thread whether your son has received counselling. The only answer I found was this, which is similar to what you just said.
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Dec 23: I have fought the good fight with no booze or anti-depressants because I feel that is best for me personally. The only therapy I need is to get her out of my life permanently and move on.
And on that previous thread I made it very clear that I am not a advocate of pharmaceuticals. Sure they have their place, but I think they are used as a crutch and can be dangerous. I'm not on antidepressants--and have never beenn on them. I took no mental health pharmaceuticals during this crisis either. So it should have always been cleat that my asking you about counselling never included drugs.
Given that sort of response--an avoidance to my question regarding help for your son, what else would I ASSUME other than that you have not sought help for him. Yes, he's an adult--which makes you trying to pawn him off on your Nutcase spouse all the more horrific.
That was my assumption based on almost a year of reading your threads and posting to you. Most of your posts are the same, and it seems most of my responses are also the same.
Your wife has done something unbelievably horrific and this has finally helped you to see the light and give up. That is usually the gist of each update.
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What I relayed to everyone on my last post was how free I feel to finally see her and OM for what they are.
You've also posted that she is not MLC because she knows what she is doing along with versions of your list about what will eventually happen to her--being burned in the end.
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I finally can say honestly that I gave it all the time I was willing to give.
Sure you can. But come on...don't mislead the new posters reading your thread. Your 'ALL' ended probably a month or less after your register daye of 28 May 2006. You continue to post saying you've finally given up, making it sound like you have continued to Stand.
It is okay to give up and give in. But admit it. You gave up on your marriage just outside the starting gate. But I have yet to see you working on yourself. I have yet to see you looking in the mirror for responsibility to any of YOUR issues. It's all poor me.
You have given up your power--if you ever had it--to this crisis, to your portion of this crisis. PArt of taking back your power is admitting that you may need help. You are trying so hard to be tough...and I've repeatedly said to me you are my greatest concern of all the posters--translate that to the weakest.
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It is really all in God's hands now.
I've heard that from you too. And when was it not in God's hands. He's been there all along, and it seems that at times you;ve been afraid of him. Afraid that you will be punished for having difficulty forgiving and such.
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I have not turned my back on my son. BUT....why does she not get to be responsible anymore-she is capable. She takes care of OM and his daughter-why not her son? Don't give me this MLC bull saying that is the reason. If it were true, she would not be ABLE to take care of others AT ALL.
Well, first, your last statement is completely false. She may not be taking care or good care of them. But why do MLCers run from an who begs and clings to a weak OW/OM who is weak and needy. Well, she had all those years with you and she failed to FIX you, so now she's got a chance to succeed at fixing someone else.
As for why shouldn't she take responsibility? You are missing the point. Sure she should. But she's not and awho cares. You are wasting your time complaining about her lack instead of being concered for your son's needs. His needs come first. If she won't tend, then you need to step up to the plate. You love him. SO his Mom's gone off the deep end. There is NOTHING you can do about that. How does it make your son feel...pretty bad huh? Abandoned, worthless etc.
And then you tell her that it's her turn and she should take him off your hands--you can't handle him. Forget her...how would that make you feel if you were in your son's place? And by know you should have predicted she would refuse...sure Hope springs eternal, but I think your spring is contaminated.
Thank you so much for recognizing that I care. It hurst me to see your pain, and then to read how you are dealing wityh your son through your pain. He's already a casualty. And yes, he is an adult and must make his won medical/mental health choices. I know that...I didn't ask if you blindfolded him and tied him up and took him to Dr. Phil. But you are an INFLUENCE in his life, and you are teaching him by example--negative example right now.
