Glad to hear you're still alive...I have had a lot of major events around her to deal with so I took a break from you too...
Things sound like they are moving in a positive direction...but I have to ask after you spoke to him about unprotected sex with you and then going to her it seems nothing has changed...she could very well have something that he doesn't know of and he could bring it back to you...how wonderful would you think the ML would be then?...I say this because I just heard of a young woman who was infected by her ONLY contact with a guy she had been with for years exclusively...evidently he had a one night stand and gave her HPV...now cervical cancer is something she has hanging over her for the rest of her life...
I think it is time to respect yourself...perhaps you should tell him that you want to ML to him but as long as he is involved physically with someone else you just can't risk yourself...or her (remember herpes can be transmitted without a breakout)in that way....and that you have shown your willingness to work things out with him...you are NOT asking him to move home...just to not sleep with both of you...and he needs to be examined by a doctor to make sure he hasn't contracted anything...and you need to get the vaccination for HPV...it isn't good for all strains (yes there are many)...but it will cover some of the main ones that lead to cervical cancer!....
I wish you strength...you sound like you are emotionally doing better...watch the fun though (drinking and medications can be a deadly combination...Karen Ann Quinlin, comes to mind)...continue to GAL...this is important no matter what he does...and even if he does come home...it is still a good thing..
