It wasn't even just arguing....it would be as simple as me stating my need to my H that would push him away. Re-broaching the topic because I needed to get it out of my system...would push him back. Hell, asking him how he "felt" would shut him down.
Mojo, for guys like my H, Heywyre's H, and very possibly Passionate's H...ANYTHING can result in him shutting down. If I upped the heat sexually/emotionally in our relationship in the past he would TOTALLY shut down sexually. The only two things that ever truly had impact that would have been drama related would have been....when I first insisted that we see a MC (or no more anniversaries), and when I discovered what he was doing and he almost found himself divorced. Those two things shook him up enough to take me seriously. True, the firsts one only resulted in us getting to a MC...and that improved our relationship, but the thing that REALLY got his attention and resulted in the most progress was when his online infidelity was discovered and he realized he was REALLY going to lose his family.
Still, neither of those two things resulted in his truly stepping up sexually. If you remember shortly after that I unleashed my inner porn star on him so he could see what he was missing out on....but none of that resulted in HIM initiating. Why? Because he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that I was sexual like the women he viewed as sexual...but viewed as dirty and damaged goods (those are his words).
I can guarantee you...if causing drama in my marriage would have resulted in sex...I'd have learned to be a friggin drama queen, but even if I had that wouldn't have been true to who I am and I'd have hated being that way.
