My story is a long one but I'll try to shorten it as much as I can. My then 17 year old D dropped the bomb last July. We had gotten into an argument and her dad told her to apoligize for yelling at me. She told him she would after he did for cheating on me. At that point my world fell apart and it's been crumbling piece by piece ever since. I started digging and got myself buried by all the dirt. I got ahold of his cell phone records and saw 1000's of calls between them since 12/28. My H played poker nearly every night so I waited outside to follow him. She came out and 30 min later he came out while talking on his phone. He drove like a nut and I lost him. When I got home some 30 min later I gave him a call and asked him where he was. He said he was just now leaving the tournament (lie) and was heading to the VFW. I asked him if he could bring milk home. He said I sounded funny and asked what was wrong. I told him I was just tired. He called back a few min later and asked if we needed sugar and if I was sure nothing was wrong. At that point we'd been married 24 years and he has never called to ask if we need anything much less sugar. He took a job with the railroad that had him pretty much gone for 6 months for training starting in Sept. Before he left he told me he wanted a D. In Oct he agreed to give the M a chance until March when his training was done. He came home for Thanksgiving and had to leave that night because of a derail (more on that later) and came back the next day. I went to spend a week with him in GA and he came home for Christmas. Well 12/26 his credit card statement arrived and I found a charge for a hotel here in Jacksonville on Thanksgiving, no derail on the railroad just our M and then there was another one 2 days later when he was supposedly leaving town. I was crushed. 12\27 I went to a lawyer and gave him our credit card and charged $6500 for my D (I knew the only way to hurt him was with money). On 12\28 we filled out the papers and filed. He was livid that I spent the money, not that I filed. After that I got online and checked out the recent credit card statement and found a charge for a round trip ticket from here to St Louis (his home port of training). I called Expedia and found out it was from 12\28-1/2 and was in the OW name. He told me she was going to Branson MO to visit friends, yeah right. All I get is lies. On 1\3 he decides I should fly in and see if we can work on anything to try and fix this mess. Fool that I am I agreed and went and after much talking came back home and dismissed the D (stupid). When I went back to SL in Feb I found a phone card (this was by accident) and when I got the call details there were 14 of them in 2 days to her. When he came home in March I found a pay as you go cell phone (by accident). There was a strange humming comming from his closet and when I went in there I found the phone. He had put it on vibrate and put it in a shoe so it was beating against the shoe as SHE was calling. We had a huge fight and it was the night he was leaving, of course I knew then he was going to see her. He is now in PA and my girls 16 and 18 are going up at the end of June. We're supposedly giving this M a chance for a year but is it really possible when he runs to see her every time he is home (that will be stopping in June though since we won't be here) and he still has that phone to talk to her. He has told me that he loves her and she loves him and he doesn't give the M but a tenth of a chance. I wasn't going to go but my 16 is finally so excited about going and I can't bring myself to put the kids through anymore hell but I feel hopeless and helpless. Does anyone have any words of wisdom they can share because I just can't seem to see anything positive anymore at this point. I'm angry, hurt, scared and tired of the pain.
He's 44 and I'm 42.