My heart has been completely torn apart

[I_Surrender]

So a little update.
Today since this morning I have been crying on and off all day long. I had a couple of good ones. Sometimes the tears are healing for me, sometimes they have given me a sense of feeling strong. Odd as it may sound, caring in some ways is equivalent to strength, in this case meaning that I am caring about myself. I haven’t eaten much today, not hungry. I have a headache from crying too much

I did my STD HIV test this am.
I phoned a lawyer. I set up a free consult appt. It's a good thing that I did, as it sounds like leaving is not a good idea legally speaking, the counsellor did not give me good advice, I am thinking of trying another one.

Even though I am still at home, I have gone dark today. W sent me an email thanking me for fixing her vehicle (it was a horrendous job 3-4 solid nights) I didn't respond.
I sent her two links yesterday on emotional affairs. She replied today thanking me for the first link, then on the second one she was already suggesting I had an emotional affair with a lady I chat with on the internet. Bait and switch so she does not have to acknowledge what she did.

So no response on either account.
I think that she was disappointed, as she saw me typing like crazy on the computer. I guess that she assumed I was responding to her email.
I have not said anything to her today.

I was instead composing a goodbye letter which will be enclosed in a card to be sent to her at work Monday, (which will be our anniversary) along with a simple flower arrangement.

Maybe I’ll post what I composed one day, essentially, thanking her for the good years and saying goodbye, very nicely.

W asked D for room and board. Daughter asked me if she still has to pay her, why she cannot just give it to me. I told her just to pay W.

I placed a personal ad for a platonic friend this morning, and got a very nice response from someone already. I do not know exactly what to do here.