I'm still alive! Sorry that I have not written for a while. I've been doing some soul searching and took a break from the board for a while.
Don't have much time to write now but wanted to say thanks for checking in on me. 1210, I'm sorry to hear that you were in the hospital and sick again. Is this related to your last illness? I hope you're back on your feet again real soon. Thanks for checking in on me.
Had a great weekend with my friends. Went out with my girlfriend on Friday night to dinner and a movie, and she stayed the night at my house, and we had "girl talk." It was fun. Then Saturday for Cinco de Mayo I went out with her and her husband and some of their friends to dinner and dancing. Don't remember much after about 8 o'clock... Had a few too many drinks. Haven't done that in 7 or 8 years. Drank way too much, but it was so fun to get out with friends and "let it all go" for a while.
I talked with DB coach Jody on Friday. Will tell you more about that later, but she felt I should be encouraged by H's actions since she and I talked last, which was when I came home from Vegas.
H came home Sunday morning around 8:30 am. We ML before he went to the races. I told him if he wanted more of that he would have to come over after the races, and he DID! We ML again, and he stayed the night with me. He stayed the night again with me on Monday night, and we ML again. It was really nice. He also brought his golf clubs back home and some of his toiletries and left them home!
I got my hopes up too much on Tuesday. I asked him if he was coming home Tuesday night, and he said yes, but he didn't... He was at OW's house and again last night as well. That sent me into a tailspin again. Still can't grasp how he can ML to me and then go sleep with her. It hurts. I feel good about making some progress in getting closer to him but have taken a huge backslide since Tuesday. I talked with DB coach Jody again today, and that helped. I was going to go ballistic on him but calmed myself down and talked to him today like nothing had happened. Kept being my "new" flirtatious self. Jody suggested that I invite him out to do non-business type activities that he might enjoy to help us get more "connected." She said dinner probably isn't good because he might worry about getting trapped into R talk. I plan on inviting him out to play pinball (something we used to love to do together) and maybe out to a race car race. I am treating myself to dinner tonight, as it's been a long week, and I let him know that and casually invited him to go. He said he felt behind on work and doesn't know if he'll be able to break free or not. So don't know if he'll go or not, but it's fine either way. I'm still treating myself. I'm going to a restaurant that I love and haven't been to in a while.
I'm still going to my parents' for Mother's Day this weekend. Am excited and anxious about that all at once.
Well, gotta run to dinner now. Thanks again for caring and checking in on me. I'm hanging in there. Two steps forward and one step back, but I'm in motion... Still fighting the fight.
