You asked, I'll provide <chuckle>. At one time, I was a real contrarian here on the board.
That said................
RE Question #1: Wait until your W has something to say, either in person verbally or via email then respond via email. The reason I say that is because you can actually sit down and compose your thoughts that way. Don't initiate this. If you feel you don't have anything to say, then don't say anything. Distancing does that...keep the conversations relevant. If an issue comes up you need her input on (anything...kids, money, house, schedule changes) then email. But keep it short, sweet, to the point. See how that goes. You'll be maintaining the space and doing as the C suggests.
RE question #2: No you're not sliding from detachment if you are responding to a simple request she gave you to plan/arrange a trip. Sounds like she's testing you to see if you can do this and do it without a lot of drama and neediness. It's a simple task, so do it and don't ask her for a lot of details or go looking for "problems" while carrying out this task. Look at it as as simple task and just do it and then communicate such. See what happens.
You are reading too much into all of this. You're going into paralysis by analysis. Been there, done that. By watching and analyzing each and every move of hers, you lose your life!!! How much fun is that, how interesting is that? Be a little mysterious...
