You just answered your own question when you said:
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The only reason I ask is you kind of categorized (and maybe I'm wierd) but it only took 1 D bomb and I now have a note on my computer that says "NEVER FORGET." I do not ever want to have to go through that again -- I love my H so very much and am willing to do all I can to save my M
That has been my same debate, over and over again with everyone on here, for the past several years -- that when you love someone, you're told of their intense pain and have seen it up-close, and you've PROMISED that it (intentionally turning away, and becoming affection-less) wouldn't happen again, you DON'T just blow that off if you truly love the person, and care about them, and can continue to see signs of their pain daily.
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Anyway, I'm just wondering what would happen if you did decide to talk to your W again? Even if you said to yourself "Self, just one more time and that's it."
That is what I told myself . . . the last time. That WAS the "one more time."
To answer your question, we had "The Talk" about 12-15 times, I suppose, over the years 3 thru 17 or so of our marriage. The final time was three or four years ago when I broke down in front of her, laid everything out on the table, and threatened to leave her if things didn't change. Long story short, she had this big "epiphany" moment, shared with me why she did what she did, and swore that "the old Mrs. Choc." would never, EVER return. And for about 60 days, we enjoyed bliss like I haven't experience since we were newlyweds, and I DON'T just mean sex. Kisses. Touching. Gentuine affection. Back scratches. Making my favorite meal. Respecting and praising me verbally in front of others.
It was glorious, and I even told her at the time that if it ever "wore off" again to the extent that it had (I'm not talking about a mere "bad day"; we all have those . . I'm talking about the total rejection and lack of affection, if THAT ever returned, that I would NOT beg for her affection, and that the love life would basically be over.
It did, and it is.
Anyway, I hope that answers. I find myself wanting to reply to everyone's questions, to not be rude, but I really just wanted to know what to say to my wife today.
