Yeah, I went through that too. I couldn't eat for two months. Use it to your advantage and lose some extra weight, do some nice things for you. Treat yourself very kindly and carefully. It's okay to feel bad, it's okay to cry, it's okay if you want to go to sleep when you get home from work or after you pick the kids up from school. You are going to feel terrible, it's a rollercoaster ride. I remember feeling like my insides were splitting apart. It was completely nightmarish. If possible find a local group, church group, friends, to help you through this. It will help!!!!
Actually, once you accpet the idea you won't get your husband back and start creating a life for yourself, that's when you'll finally start to feel better. Being sad and broken won't bring him back. It's not attractive.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
I was the same way. I was in kind of a shock mode. After about 2 weeks I decided to GAL. I called my daughter and her BF and we went out last Friday. I had a good time. Tonight I may call my friend and see if he wants to go play pool. I too love my wife. I forgive her for what she did. I will do whatever it takes to make our relationship work but she needs to be the one to decide if that is what she wants. I can’t convince her. I did draw the line on having sex with the OM. I told her if that happens again it’s over. I did not however tell her she had to stop calling him. I can’t control her nor do I want to. She has to decide she does not need to talk to him. I am giving her space. Having a good time with my son. She has seen this and I think may be starting to feel a little left out. Maybe she is maybe she isn’t. All I know When she can see that she can get from me what ever she is getting from him she will end it. If she does not feel that I can make her happy I figure by going out with my friends I’m kind of practicing being single. Now of course I’m saying this today and tomorrow I may be down again but hey one day at a time
Hang in there
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
well this ow says that her and my h r in love but she does not know what to do bc she does love her h. her and her h have a very open and honest R. she just cant fight the feelings that she has for my h and apparently my h feels the same way about her so they are spending as much time together to see where things lead. she is 19 or 20 years old and my h is 38. she says that they have so much in common and can talk for hours on end. i remember when we use to do that. this hurts so much. just when i think that i am doing well at GAL this happens and it is like starting all over again. i am starting to lose hope of ever getting my h back. someone please give me some advice on what you think and how u feel.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
guys i need advice please!!!!!!!! see above and now my h my loose his job and he says that she is worth is and at least he will be happy with her please help!!!!!1
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
Yes, my husband came back. And we were in divorce.
But I was fully prepared for my marriage ending. He hated me and would say and do terrible things to hurt me. I eventually detached, got my own life, found my own happiness. Realized I needed to make myself happy and not be so dependent on another person to do it for me. It took a lot of time for my husband's anger to melt, the affair to die, us to become friends again. It was a long, slow road. If your husband wants to leave you and divorce you there is probably nothing you can do to stop it. All you can do is focus on yourself and kids. That's it.
Does OW's husband know about the affair? Have you ever talked with her husband? I'm not saying you should do that. You might have to deal with some extremely angry people if you do (I did!!! I thought my husband was going to kill me. Seriously!!!!). Honestly, in my own situation I believe it was a big factor in killing the affair, and unfortunately that's something I still struggle with. Feeling like the default, or "second-choise." Nothing in this is easy. Even when you do get back together there can still be struggles and mental challenges to work through.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
my h told me that he knows and he is fine with everything.of course, my h is a big liar. I also spoke with the ow and she says yes that her h knows but he is not happy with it but he wants her to be happy.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
When I asked my W if the OM wife knows she said the OM told her his marriage was dead and she knows he is having an affair. I asked her have YOU talked to the Wife. My W said "No but I trust him" I answered he back “ya know I trusted you and look where it got me" and I walked away. One of my finer moments.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
well my h tried to make it sound as if he was fine with everything because the ow's h would hang out with them and get drunk and he has also been texting my h. then i talk to the ow and she says that he is having a hard time with it. it is not easy for him but he wants her to be happy. i just want to fast forward a year and get this over with. i hate feeling like this. i hate wondering if this A is going to work out btwn them or not. please tell me how likely is it for a 19 or 20 yr old to work out with a 38 year old. my sister thinks that my h just likes the idea of having a young girl on his arm that looks good and therefore he looks good but i don't understand what she is getting out of being with my h since he is so much older. someone please give me your opinion on this i am going NUTS!!!!!!!
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
