I really didn't want to get into all this today, but out of courtesy, I'll answer your questions, and I do appreciate your reply:
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You have no romantic attachment to your wife. Does she know this?
Good god, how could she NOT? We haven't ML in over 3 years, we've ML only maybe twice in 5 years, and I haven't initiated in those same 3 years nor even told her that I miss it. That may be right or wrong (and most of you have told me that I'm nuts, I understand), but there's no way on God's green earth that she could not know that I've lost my sexual feelings for her.
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I know you've had it out with her before and gotten temporary results. You may have to do it again and again and again to keep the connection alive.
No, thank you. In fact, my refusal to do just that pretty much sums up my overall philosophy on this Board and on this whole topic for the past four years. I will not beg for something that the one who supposedly loves me, and has forsaken all others for, knows that I both want and need, knows that she has ripped my heart out about before, and yet still chooses to reject me.
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What can make her "get it" for good? Who knows. People get it when they're good and ready, and not before. I don't know of a good way to speed it up, other than to force them to see the results of not getting it... i.e., bring to their attention that your romantic feelings are GONE and you have no reason other than concern your remaining underage children to stick around.
My wife is a smart, intuitive woman, and I know with every fiber of my being that she knows. If she asks me, I will tell her, but I'm not going to bring it up again. Maybe that's a stupid place to draw the line, but that's where I have drawn it.
